Just keep waiting….

Overnight our one little egg fertilised.

The embryologist called and she sounded joyous. I think there had been some reservation as to whether this one little immature egg would fertilise at all, so her happiness that it had was palpable.

Overnight the egg had matured enough to fertilise and one little sperm won the race! 

Under normal circumstances in IVF they will wait until the embryo becomes a 5-day old blastocyst before they reintroduce it to the uterus where it will hopefuly implant into the uterus lining and grow. 

They do this to assess its quality and to make sure the healthiest looking blastocyst is used, but that is assuming you have more than one.

When you only have one they put it back on day 2, as soon as possible after they have seen it start to divide. Back into its optimum environment.

We were booked in to have embyo transfer the next day, on Saturday 20th April. 

We had another overnight wait, hoping that the embryo would continue to develop and then after transfer we would start a two week wait before we can test to see if I am pregnant. SO MUCH WAITING.

At the embryo transfer the embryologist let us know that the embryo was now 4 cells of fairly equal size, meaning it had divided well, and there was no fragmentation meaning it was good quality. 

Our one egg had become a good quality embryo, surely this would mean it would continue to grow well and settle into its new environment. I was feeling super positive. I keep reminding myself I have no physiological issue that should prevent good implantation and healthy baby development.

Parts of the transfer itself were a bit complicated, specifically access issues, and the fertility centre director had to step in and take over from the doctor doing the procedure. However the part where the actual embryo is put into my uterus was straightforward and just like that we had an embryo on board.

As it was 2 days old, rather than the normal 5-day blastocyst, the embryo would  need to do a bit more growing before implantation. 

So, all being well the embryo would become a blastocyst around the 23rd April and then starting implanting over the 3-4 days following that. 

After the transfer Giles and I went to lunch with my best friend and her 1 year old boy. We walked around in the sunshine and went to the children’s playground. I felt elated that I might have a baby inside me soon and that before long Giles and I would have our own family. 

The first few days of the 2 week wait (2ww) were great, I felt happy and optimistic. But holy shit are these 2 weeks long! Such a drag. At times it’s felt as though time stood still!

I had quite a lot of camping from 22nd to 25th so I feel really positive that that could have been implantation. It was like period pains, but 10 days too early for those. I’ve also been very tired, but that may be due to the progesterone I am on to help with the implantation phase. I had very sore boobs for a week, but that’s eased up now.

I think I preferred it when I could feel something. It was reassuring that maybe good things were happening inside me. But I’ve really not had any symptoms the last 4 days other than the odd twinge or brief wave of nausea. Although the tiredness seems to be here to stay but that maybe because I’ve been off caffeine since the transfer. No caffeine for 2 weeks and no alcohol for 10 weeks! I’m like a different person. 

In preparation for IVF I was advised to stop hot yoga by my acupuncturist, who said that the body needs to have calmness and no surges in heat. In the stimulation phase I made walking my main exercise and other than the occasional home yoga practice that’s been about it. I really miss hot yoga and running but it’s obviously a compromise I’m willing to make. Spring is now here so taking a walk around the park in the morning sunshine is a joy and a routine I plan to continue going forwards.

I’ve actually had these two weeks off work, and in some ways that’s been great – no guilt about middle-of-the-afternoon naps, plenty of rest, no stresses; but perhaps the lack of distraction isn’t great. I can’t help but churn over in my head the what-if’s? 

I know lots of people brave taking an early pregnancy test but I’ve seen it causes lots of angst as people don’t know if it’s a false negative (too early for detectable implantation hormones) or false positive (caused by residual medication from trigger injection).

I’ve chosen to wait to my official testing date. 3rd May – tomorrow!

One more sleep left to go, and I almost don’t want to test tomorrow, just in case it’s not positive. Despite finding these two weeks horrendously  slow and laborious, I now can not believe I am here at this point. 

Tomorrow I’ll know if I’m pregnant!