This May has been a month of rain. My mood has been low although nothing too serious, I’ve just been in a funk. I am sleeping well, not too stressed but generally just, you know, OK. OK but not feeling good.
I have these days of brain fog where I just can’t wake up properly. It makes working hard and after 15 months of working from home I guess I am just a bit sick of sitting at my laptop all day.
My normal day job involves travelling. I’d usually spend one night a week in a hotel before running a training course for a full day. I’d usually have a day meeting customers or working with a colleague in a cafe. At most I’d spend 2 days sitting at home on a laptop, and honestly I think after 15 months of doing it 5 days a week I am DONE!
This is somewhat inconvenient as I enter the last 2 months of my MSc and need to start writing my dissertation.
I have to keep reminding myself that in 8 weeks time it will be the height of summer, I will have just submitted my dissertation and can enjoy some time over summer without that weighing over me. I just need to start committing pen to paper.
Since my mood has been low I have been feeling bad about my body, a familiar place for my mind to go.
So this quote has been helping. A gentle reminder that my brain, when malfunctioning, when less happy and more self-critical, must not be listened to. I know that I feel down on my body, but criticising it won’t help me. I need to focus on doing more of the things that help me to feel good physically and mentally. For me, this is exercise. During lockdown 1.0 I had a great time with exercise. It was a fundamental part of my daily routine and I was feeling physically good most days.
I also found a lifeline in an eating plan that really helped my skin in lockdown 1.0. As a 20-year sufferer of psoriasis I discovered Skin Healing Expert @mygoodnessrecipes on Instagram and it practically cleared my psoriasis through diet, Epsom salt baths, green juices and by cutting out nightshades from my diet. It was life-changing.
But this last lockdown I haven’t been on top of things. I have slipped back into eating brownies and crisps, only running once or twice a week, done HIIT sporadically and generally lost my way with it all a bit and it shows, and I am feeling it. My skin is flaring up and it hurts.
It is Bank Holiday Monday today, I am going to do some work on my dissertation to get back the feeling that I am on top of it, and I will also look at constructing a workout plan that is going to realistically fit with my next 8 weeks of work and study. My partner and I will go to the gym near our house today to see what it is like, as it has been closed the whole time we have lived here. Now it is back open I like the idea of having access to heavy weights and other workout equipment.
So despite having felt a bit down on myself I am beginning to feel more motivated. 8 weeks to go till I hand in my dissertation and if I am clever with my days I think I can really get it done with a healthy workout schedule on the side.
I’m going to keep myself accountable here. At least, that’s the plan.