I loved it.
I mean it was hard, but I felt really strong for most of it, and got a fair few compliments from the teacher for some of my postures. My half moon and standing bow feel really good and despite a few of the new postures being a bit outside my capability I didn’t lose my positivity.
In the intermediate Bikram class most of the postures are like those from the beginners series but a fair amount of them are done slightly differently. Also they are done in a different order.
Not knowing what to expect or what posture was coming next meant I was really focusssing on the moment, being present.
When I was at the desk before class the teacher asked if I was aware it was the intermediate class. I immediately thought she was asking because I don’t look thin and fit enough to be in that class; that I didn’t deserve to be there.
The ability of my mind to rapidly access this self-doubt and self-criticism is wildly damaging. A few people who came to the class had come by accident not realising it was the intermediate class so maybe she asked because of that, maybe because she hadn’t seen me in the intermediate class before.
Normally this self-doubt would have spiralled out of control and left me having a difficult class, but this time I consciously decided to not be self-hating. I had chosen to come to this class because I knew I was capable, because my last few classes had been so good.
So, in a break from convention I shut any bad thoughts out and just focussed on doing what my body allowed me to. It was super. I kicked out both legs in standing head to knee, I managed to get both feet off the ground in crow pose and my triangle felt truly powerful.
It just goes to show how strong the mind is. Thinking positively made for a splendid class. Physically I felt capable and confident. My mind was full of pride and happiness towards myself and my accomplishments. Thank you, more please.
