A month or so ago, when I got back to running after a hiatus for IVF; I decided to book some races. A 10Km race in September, a 10 mile race in October and a half marathon in November. The plan would be to get my regular running practice back in place to make these races achievable.
I ran the 10 mile race last Sunday and to say if was horrible would be an understatement.
Firstly, we (me and my running buddy Steve) were running at a location about an hour and a half’s drive from my house so it was a fairly early start for a Sunday morning – not my fave. Secondly, was the unrelenting rain. It was cold and grim. So to say I wasn’t feeling it at the staring line would be a bit of an understatement.
We also noticed nearly everyone else there were in running club t-shirts, so all pretty committed racers rather than more casual runners like myself.
I had run the 10Km in September and had done a 12Km training run the weekend before, but I don’t really feel my training had been that good in the build up to this race.
By about 4Km I started getting a jarring pain in my hip with every step I took. I persevered and despite feeling rank I was keeping at it. At the 10Km mark I was on pace for a 1:45:00 10 mile finish so actually things weren’t too bad.
By 12Km though I was struggling. The rain was sideways and my hip was pretty uncomfortable. Also, the course was quite undulating so finding a pace was hard.
As I plodded along an older couple began to pass me and I offered them some sort of salutation. As I did the man ground to a halt and said something to the lady along the lines of ‘in the nicest way possible, I hope not to see you again’.
In that moment I realised that the man was the ‘last runner marshal’.
I was in last place.
Well let me tell you, that sure did suck every last bit of energy and positivity out of me.
I knew I was running at an ok time for the distance, particularly considering the conditions. But the minute I knew I was last it wrecked me.
To make matters worse the marshal insisted on running right next to me. I just wanted to tell him to fuck off! Had he been 5 metres behind I don’t think it would have had such a negative impact.
Talk about mind over matter though.
It was ALL in my head but I felt rubbish. Not good enough, fat, unfit, the worst one there, incompetent and hopeless. My walking stretches became longer than my running bits. I had given up.
I’ve reflected on this a lot, and I know that my mind chatter became so negative that it was holding me back.
I completed the run in 1:53:40.
The last 4Km were soul destroying, and it was all because of my thoughts that I wasn’t able to do it.
I need to use some positive mantras, like the ones below, to repeat to myself as I run to keep a positive mind, and hope that can result in a positive result.
The half marathon is in 4 weeks now and this week I have done 2 runs. I should have also run today but instead of going this morning I assured myself I would go after lunch out with family, but I didn’t get home until 7pm, so that didn’t happen.
This week I did 6.44Km (4miles) in 40:02, and 7Km in 44:08. So not the plan I had, but better than nothing. I also did 3 Bikram classes, one vinyasa and one yin class.
This week coming I will be able to do some exercise everyday if I prioritise it.
Positive mental attitude.